Why You Should Talk to Your Kids About Your Estate Plan—And How to Do It Thoughtfully
Key Points:
Open conversations about estate plans help reduce confusion and conflict later.
Involving adult children can build financial literacy and stewardship.
Every adult, no matter how young, should have their own basic estate documents.
There’s no single right way to approach this; tailor the conversation to your family’s comfort and needs.
For high-net-worth families, these conversations are even more critical and should be part of a broader financial strategy.
Estate planning isn't just about documents and distribution. It’s about values, clarity, and continuity. That’s why one of the most impactful moves you can make, regardless of your net worth, is to involve your children in the conversation.
Whether your child is 18 or 38, helping them understand your estate plan provides more than legal transparency. It models financial responsibility, reduces future confusion, and encourages open dialogue during what is often an emotionally charged time.
Why Involving Your Children Matters
1. It Prepares Them Emotionally and Logistically
When a parent passes, adult children are often left to navigate grief, financial responsibilities, and legal logistics all at once. If they’re unaware of your wishes—or worse, surprised by them—it can compound their emotional stress. Discussing your plan in advance offers clarity and peace of mind. It also reduces the risk of family conflict or mismanaged inheritances.
Some families choose to involve their children in the planning phase, while others opt for a “reveal” once documents are finalized. There’s no one-size-fits-all answer here—it depends on your child’s maturity, your family dynamics, and your comfort level. The most important thing is having the conversation at some point, ideally sooner rather than later.
2. It Teaches Financial Stewardship
For ultra-high-net-worth families—those with estates exceeding the current federal estate tax exemption ($13.99 million per person or $27.98 million per couple in 2025)—involving children isn’t just helpful. It’s essential. If your children are set to inherit substantial wealth, you have an opportunity (and responsibility) to prepare them.
This means helping them understand the structure of your estate, the role of trusts or family partnerships, and how to be a responsible steward of family wealth. These are not one-time conversations but ongoing discussions best facilitated in partnership with your fiduciary financial advisor, estate attorney, and CPA.
Children who are set to inherit sizable estates should also be brought into broader conversations around financial planning for high-net-worth families. It’s not just about what they’ll receive—it’s about how they’ll carry it forward.
3. It Highlights the Importance of Their Own Estate Planning
Once your child turns 18, they’re a legal adult, and you no longer have automatic authority to make medical or financial decisions on their behalf. That means your 18-year-old college freshman needs at least three documents:
A healthcare directive
A durable power of attorney
A basic will
Even if they don’t have substantial assets, these documents can make all the difference in a crisis. Consider helping your child draft these as part of your own estate planning process—it’s a powerful way to protect them and show them what it means to take ownership of their future. It also introduces them early to the value of thoughtful financial planning.
How to Start the Conversation
Estate planning can be a sensitive topic. Here are a few tips to help you approach it with empathy and clarity:
Lead with intention:
Let your child know why you’re bringing this up—not to cause worry, but to bring clarity and peace of mind.
Tailor the message:
A 22-year-old just starting out may need a very different conversation than a 40-year-old with children of their own.
Be prepared for resistance:
Adult children may feel uncomfortable discussing mortality or inheritance. That’s normal. Let the door stay open even if they aren’t ready yet.
Loop in professionals:
Having your financial advisor or estate attorney present can help clarify details and reduce misunderstandings.
Estate Planning Is More Than Paperwork—It’s a Legacy
At TARA Wealth, we view estate planning as part of a much broader conversation—one that reflects your goals, values, and the future you envision for your family. Including your children in the process, whether through early involvement or thoughtful conversations later on, helps create clarity and confidence during times that matter most.
These discussions don’t happen in a vacuum. We integrate them into the larger framework of your financial planning and wealth management strategy. That means understanding what matters most to you, helping prepare the next generation, and collaborating with your estate attorney to ensure everything works in harmony.
If you’re looking for a more intentional, comprehensive approach to your finances, we’d love to have a conversation with you.
Schedule a complimentary meeting with our founders
Disclosure: The information is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not financial, legal, or tax advice. Consult a qualified fiduciary financial advisor, estate attorney, or tax professional before making any financial decisions.
